ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize