I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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