He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
