I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
