In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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