You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
