just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he shaved USA in his pubs
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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