kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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