textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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