Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
