Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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