I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
