i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
