highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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