Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
