Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Green mimosas i think yes
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
