You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
