My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
