Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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