so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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