My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
