I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize