she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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