Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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