My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
