these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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