It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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