im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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