one might say we're banned from that church
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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