he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You did what with his pubic hair?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
