dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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