Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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