How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
