is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
