For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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