did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
