hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
