How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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