let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
