is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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