So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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