those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
