The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
