I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
