my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
should my penis look like a turkey
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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