Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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