that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
