Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
