I think I died a long time ago.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
