dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
