I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
