i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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