Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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