ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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