You're my little dorito
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
