just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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