i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
