I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
