it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
