what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
