"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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