Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
