Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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