you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
