Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
