I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
