weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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