The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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