It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
