Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
