i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Let's get the cat blown out
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
