You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize