you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
