you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
