There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
